Scorecard

St Albans Cricket Club Sunday 2nd XI v Stage CC on Sun 10 May 2026 at 1pm
St Albans Cricket Club Lost 8 wickets

Match report Drama. Controversy. Heated post-match debates around the spirit of cricket over pints of Brewpoint. And that’s just surrounding how terrible of a bloke Rory Law is.

A decidedly chilly Sunday afternoon saw our beloved (and mostly hungover) Sunday 2XI play host to Stage CC in a timed game. Our squad today was a strong one, with skipper Prath ‘PK’ Khatavkar seeing fit to deploy the new overseas professional Charlie Ferguson, unaware of the fact that said professional was still tipsy and feeling the effects of a late night Jolly Sailor visit. Club stalwart Rory Law opted to play for the oppo today, causing many to clutch their pearls in horror. As you can tell: a recipe for success. PK lost the toss with the style you’d expect and Stage elected to bat first. Our openers were Charlie and Andy ‘Sweet Cheeks’ Melling, and so we got underway.

Both lads batted sensibly to start with, before Charlie became the first scalp of the day, finding himself bowled on 7 and raising serious questions about whether he needs a pay cut. Melling showed authority in his shots, blazing three 4s and making women swoon on the boundary at the sight of his voluptuous behind, before he decided Stage needed some catching practice, departing on 13. Our next two bats were Moksudul ‘Moksy’ Islam and Ben ‘Biceps’ Hingston: two established batting talents, in whose hands we felt perfectly safe. Sadly, it was not to be, with Moksy being felled on 5 and Hingston spooning one up to fall into the hands of traitor Rory, departing on 6. This won’t be the last time I say the following in this report: get a life, Rory.

Needless to say, we were starting to feel a little nervy in the face of tight bowling and a great standard of fielding. Thankfully, we had our anchors up next: Debshali ‘Debs’ Sinha Roy and Andy ‘Jäger Centurion’ Wright. The pair set about rebuilding the innings, showing due respect to the good bowling and suitably punishing the bad balls when they came. Debs flirted with the 50 milestone, smoking nine 4s and a booming 6 with his trademark aggression, but was unfortunate to fall just short on 44, a good catch ruining his weekend.

Nadeem ‘Nads’ Arif was next on the Tavah-sponsored menu, walking onto the pitch with steel in his eyes and fire in his heart. He echoed Melling’s innings, dispatching three 4s and running a single to help the starving run rate, but eventually misjudged a delivery to find himself bowled on 13. During this time, Wright surpassed the 50 milestone for the second Sunday running, confirming that he’s absolutely gun and we don’t deserve him.

Next up: Ciarán ‘Sex Appeal’ Walsh. He strode onto the pitch, still riding high off his massive 6 through a sight screen the week prior, having had the gall to drunkenly bet £20 with Rory the night before that he’d do the same again today. Unsurprisingly, he did not. He blocked the first couple, left one, then took a massive heave across the line to find himself missing a straight one. But by God did he look good doing it.

PK came on to help settle things down, and wasted no time in telling Wright “you could get a hundred today”, marking the second week running that he’s talked his partner into throwing away their wicket. Wright soon found himself caught, departing on a brutally-made 64, after having very much saved our innings from a scarily-low total. Thomas ‘Ring Ring’ Coulling and Altaf ‘Daddy’ Hussain made cameos, but departed on 1 and 2 respectively.

After a feast courtesy of our favourite club sponsors, we took up the ball and got to work defending our total of 166. Our openers were Coulling and Hussain: raw pace from the get go. Rory had the nerve to open the batting himself for the oppo, earmarking how sad a life he has that he needs to farm runs in a Sunday friendly that won’t even make it to the SACC website. Get a life, Rory. Coulling and Hussain worked tirelessly to beat the bats, but Rory was in fine touch from ball one, reaching 35 before his partner had even scored 1. Coulling and Hussain took a blow after a scorching opening spell, allowing Nads and Walsh to take the reins.

Now for the drama. Walsh steps up to bowl, staring down Rory, who was facing. He bowls his first: dot, thanks to a respectful block. Next ball: dot, another block. Third ball: a massive nick that was heard from several counties over that keeper Hingston joyfully caught, sending Walsh and his teammates screaming and whooping, having just sent Rory to the cleaners- oh, wait a minute. The umpire hasn’t given it and Rory - the scumbag - hasn’t walked! In a Sunday friendly! That won’t even count towards his club stats! What a terrible bloke! Where’s the spirit of cricket gone??? Groans and rolled eyes filled the pitch, with screeching spectators having to be held back from rushing Rory, while Walsh trudged back to begin his run up anew, grumbling about how Rory must lead a “sad little life.” For the third time: get a life, Rory. Walsh bowls the fourth and - a plumb LBW, Walsh goes up screaming - the umpire’s raised the finger! Law is sent packing for the second ball in a row! Walsh has the 2s skipper on absolute strings! Righteous roars fill Clarence Park, Law hangs his head in shame and Walsh begins a victory lap of the square, whipping off his shirt and swinging it around his head, causing many a spectator to swoon and faint. Justice has been served, the spirit of cricket returns to the beautiful game and Walsh walks away with the moral victory, undoubtedly prepared to tell and retell this story for many seasons to come. Nads also bowled well I suppose, but did he get Rory out two balls in a row? I think not.

Anyways, might as well let the other bowlers have their moment. Nads and Walsh retired, making way for PK and Moksy: the perfect combination of raw pace and spinning guile. Both lads bowled admirable spells, doing their best to restrict an ever-increasing run rate. Moksy made the second breakthrough, echoing the LawGate debacle: a snick that wasn’t given (it was definitely pad) followed by an LBW given on the next ball.

There was time enough for Debs and Melling to make their cameos with the ball, both lads delivering some good ones mixed in amongst some beamers (thought you only bowled those at minors, Melling?). The scores were brought level by a head-height delivery from Melling that was dispatched for 4, with umpire Rory graciously not giving the no ball that would have clinched the game for Stage. The next ball was struck along the ground towards Walsh at the boundary, who began running to it, prepared to dive and stop the 4, but then realised the batters had already run the winning run, so decided to ruin his mate’s bowling figures and let the ball continue past the boundary.

A defeat, but a sincerely enjoyable day with a lovely opposition (bar Rory who refused to walk after a massive edge: get a life, Rory). Everyone had a good laugh in the field, Wright put on another masterclass with the bat, and Stage were good fun to chat to and share a beer with after the game. Next week sees the Sunday Guns play host to Aldenham CC: we have to assume this will be the first 2026 Sunday 2XI win, given that Walsh and Wright have been appointed co-captains for the day…

Fineable Moments:

We all knew this was coming: Rory Law, and I don’t think I need to say why.

Walsh for tearing off his shirt and whirling it around his head in celebration for taking Rory’s wicket (twice).

Moksy for asking where the keeping kit was, despite Hingston wearing said gear and very clearly being the designated keeper for the day.

PK for (the second week in a row) getting in his batting partner’s ear about an upcoming milestone, causing their head loss and giving up their wicket.

Charlie for having to leave the field four separate times to vomit, leaving us a fielder short for a considerable time.

And finally, one last time, say it with me: get a life, Rory.

St Albans Cricket Club Sunday 2nd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
1nb 2w 8b  
for 10 wickets
11
166		        
Charlie Ferguson b Rana 7 8 1 87.50
Andrew Melling ct Rana 13 12 3 108.33
Moksudul Islam b Roger 5 11 4 45.45
Ben Hingston ct Roger 6 25 1 24.00
Debshali Sinharoy ct Mark 44 38 9 1 115.79
Andy Wright ct Brian 64 43 14 148.84
Nadeem Arif b Davis 13 19 3 68.42
Ciarán Walsh b Davis 0 6 0
Prath Khatavkar Not Out  0 3 0
Thomas Coulling lbw Davis 1 6 16.67
Md Altaf Husain ct Davis 2 3 66.67

Stage CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Rana Ali7.0133216.504.71
Roger Barrett7.0329214.504.14
Joe Jackson5.004400.008.80
Mark Rogers6.0043143.007.17
Jeff Davis2.50441.001.41
Brian Shipley1.00515.005.00

Stage CC Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
2nb 2b  
for 2 wickets
4
170 (25.4 overs)		     
Rory 'Edged It' Law lbw Walsh 40
Jack Nott-Bower lbw Islam 46
Hiten Hori Not Out  60
Rajan Modha Not Out  18
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

St Albans Cricket Club Sunday 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Thomas Coulling3.002200.007.33
Md Altaf Husain4.002100.005.25
Nadeem Arif3.002100.007.00
Ciarán Walsh6.0030130.005.00
Prath Khatavkar5.001700.003.40
Moksudul Islam2.01818.004.00
Debshali Sinharoy2.003300.0016.50
Andrew Melling0.401400.0021.00