St Albans Cricket Club Sunday 2nd XI v Phoenix CC on Sun 19 Jun 2022 at 12:30
St Albans Cricket Club Won by 94 runs

Match report Despite the desolate weather predictions, this Sunday saw the world-renowned Sunday Soldiers take on Phoenix CC at Clarence Park. After masterfully winning the toss, skipper Peter Melling elected to bat first, with Walsh in his ear with insider knowledge of the opposition, having previously played a season for them while at university. Needless to say, Walsh provided inaccurate predictions all round.

Openers Zach Tarrant and Lucas Berry stepped up to establish themselves to the opposition, Tarrant safely seeing himself in for the first over with one shot to the boundary, and Berry soon chopping the ball onto his stumps for a golden duck. Marcus Cunnington then approached the crease, beginning a lengthy innings with numerous boundary shots and elegant strokes along the ground for quick singles and twos. Tarrant fell to a sharp stumping for 11 runs, making way for skipper Peter Melling to assume the batting position.

Melling wasted no time, immediately dispatching the first ball for four with what can only be described as contempt; he then went on to strike a crucial 22 runs before being bowled. Thomas Cocks then strode out onto the pitch, with his usual saucy swagger in his step. Following in the steps of his predecessors, he found the boundary in no time and finished on a very useful 16 runs before the bowler found the stumps. Thomas Rayden then made himself known to the opposition, striking no less than seventeen fours during his relatively short time at the crease. Rayden and Cunnington went on to build a whopping 154 partnership before their departure, with the former accruing 80 runs and the latter with 74.

Local village idiot Ciarán Walsh then waddled onto the pitch for a surprise cameo up the order after requesting a promotion, with the reasoning “I’ve been feeling tasty in the nets.” In typical Walsh fashion, he was swiftly bowled on his second ball, attempting to smash it towards - you guessed it - the leg side.

With Walsh swearing at the ball, face burning and the howling laughter of teammate Andrew Melling ringing in his ears, Andrew approached the crease for a brief spell, scoring 6, followed by Nazmul Islam, who followed in Walsh’s footsteps for a second ball duck. Altaf Hussein and Thomas Townend then made appearances, with Hussein scoring 8 and Townend scoring 9.

A total of 241 for Phoenix CC to chase; a very impressive score for the Sunday 2XI, with special mentions to Cunnington and Rayden for their combined contribution of 154 runs.

After tea, the mighty Saints began their bowling attack, with the dulcet tones of Walsh being the main noise on the field, after seemingly deciding to himself that his role was to spout a non-stop torrent of good-natured sledging towards the batsmen for the entire 40 overs. Opener Hussein kept things tight as always, being unfortunate not to take a wicket, while fellow opener Townend walked away with one wicket after his usual pace performance, in spite of Walsh commending his bowling by insisting on referring to him as “Daddy Townend”.

Andrew Melling and Lucas Berry then began their attack, with Melling finding it tricky to complete his run up due to fits of laughter at the utter drivel coming from Walsh; it was the compliment of Melling’s backside that was the tipping point, in addition to relentlessly asking the batsmen their opinions on various topics, ranging from holiday destinations to what the best cinema snack is, to their favourite sauces and to their opinions on chips VS potato wedges to name but a few subjects broached. Needless to say, the batsmen quite rightly ignored Walsh, while others argue it was these thought-provoking (and very one sided given only one party spoke, seemingly to himself) that brought about the wickets.

Despite this verbal diarrhoea, Melling and Berry both bowled commendably, with Berry unfortunate to not take a wicket, and Melling delivering his usual filth to claim one wicket. After their spell, Naz took up the pavilion end, while loudmouth Walsh assumed the other. This combined stellar standard of bowling ultimately proved to be the downfall of the opposition, with Naz bowling tight leg spin and claiming two well-deserved wickets, while Walsh finally managed to close his mouth long enough to claim three wickets, earning the spot of top wicket taker for the team, with a maiden and a wicket maiden to his name and only eight runs conceded.

Despite the pair bowling sharply, new batsman Upi remained, pumping a quick fire 41 after smashing the ball into the tennis courts several times for six. With this danger man still standing and the opposition requiring roughly 120 runs off the next 10 overs, specialist death bowler Thomas Cocks took over, with resident moon man Zachary Tarrant at the other end after no less than five drops in the field. Cocks had evidently had his Weetabix that morning, bowling slow and straight, proving too tempting for run-machine Upi, who fell to a superbly sublime catch at long off from Walsh for his second catch of the day. Tarrant delivered a mixed bag, claiming two wickets from catches by Andrew and Townend; all this in spite of the ten ball over Tarrant decided to bowl, in what we can only assume to have been an effort to keep the game interesting. This final wicket saw the Saints claim the victory by 91 runs, maintaining the weekend of wins from all teams. It’s clean sweep season!

Special mentions go out to:

Cunnington and Rayden for what can only be described as a batting extravaganza, 154 runs between them to beta the opposition’s score all by themselves (eleven batsmen is too many at any rate).

Skipper Peter Melling for consistently exquisite fielding and several delectable catches.

Resident muppet Ciaràn Walsh for his three wickets, two catches and constant idiotic (yet vastly entertaining) sledging of both opposition and teammates alike

St Albans Cricket Club Sunday 2nd XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
1nb 2w 7b 5lb 
for 10 wickets
Zachary Tarrant st Saj 11 36 26 2 42.31 1
Lucas Berry b Sukh 0 6 1 0
Marcus Cunnington b O.P Singh 74 85 68 13 108.82
Peter Melling b O.P Singh 22 50 35 3 62.86 1
Tom Cocks b Sandy 16 35 26 2 61.54
Thomas Rayden ct Sagar 80 18
Ciarán Walsh b Sandy 0 2 2 0 2
Andrew Melling ct Garash 6 10 7 1 85.71 2
md nazmul islam Run out  0 11 1 0 1
Md Altaf Husain Not Out  8 9 16 1 50.0 1
Tom Townend b Sagar 9 11 8 1 112.50

Phoenix CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
O.P Singh7.0050225.007.14

Phoenix CC Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 10 wickets
147 (33.0 overs)
Raj ct Townend 11
Chohan ct Walsh 41
Krunal ct Melling 16
Richard b Islam 1
Ajit ct Walsh 1
Sandeep ct Islam 12
Sagar b Walsh 0
Uri ct Cocks 41
Sukh ct Tarrant 5
Meher ct Tarrant 0
Saj Not Out  0

St Albans Cricket Club Sunday 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Tom Townend5.0116116.003.20
Md Altaf Husain5.011800.003.60
Lucas Berry5.002200.004.40
Andrew Melling5.0019119.003.80
md nazmul islam5.0149224.509.80
Ciarán Walsh5.01832.671.60
Zachary Tarrant2.001427.007.00
Tom Cocks1.00313.003.00